20080917

GROW

Iza woke up one morning.
Just opened her eyes and said,
" Mama, I am much taller now.
You know when our muscles grow, we don't feel it at all! "

+++

ZERO

"Do you remember what you promise me?" iza said.
"Um..."
"You said that you will
buy me a bicycle (a promise before summer holiday);
make a water gun with me (requested a several times and she's got a design drawing on this);
make a house and a dress for Tzs Kwan (her doll);
and,
make a dress for me!
You've got zero mark!"

I am really sorry.

+++

CANNOT

"There are a lot of things inside my head.
I think but cannot figure out.
When I want to ask you,
you are not always by my side.
Only a slap-bang on the door, the thought will go away!
And,
many times I don't know how to put them in words.
I cannot!
Mama..."

Iza has such an appeal for many times recently.
I can feel how hard she feels.

"Just like...
why granny always blames me?
Only me?
It's not me who misplaces her things!
When she cannot find the things,
it is always me!
She is unjust"

The fact was that.
When we were watching Tv on the first floor.
Granny asked iza to go downstairs.
She had been confronted alone.
When granny found her things, she just told iza that she had not accused her.
But she cannot understand how hard iza feels.
Iza was so unhappy that she didn't want to have dinner.
This induced another "war".
Iza has been labelled disobedient.

As I know, this is not a single case.

I understand this fully with all my heart.
I was growing up under this shadow!
I was/am the one.
Lucky enough, not the only one.
Can I explain why?
Cannot.
Can I sooth Iza's little soul?
Cannot.
I hate injustice!
Deeply with my soul!
Fight against?
That will lead to an even worse situation.
I'm the one who cannot put anger in words.
I cannot tell emotions.
I cannot help iza a lot.
Only,
I understand.

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