Last night,
before going to sleep,
Iza and I have cozy talk as usual.
When she looked into my eyes
and helped me to tidy up my hair
(my hair turns white drastically after iza has started kindergarten),
I suddenly feel that I'm getting old faster than I expect.
"Iza, I wish you would grow up faster."
Just thinking that I wish to see her grown up before my hair has all gone white.
"Mama, I've already growing very fast.
Somebody said that I look like 8."
I didn't expect that.
She is right, honestly right...


A shop selling chinese blue prints.

Natural born architect



I feel much relieved.
Eventually, I've a day off yesterday.
Away from work and without iza!

I felt so upset when I NEEDED to do office work after bringing iza to swimming class,
then wrote tender document (the kind of work I hate very much) on SUNDAY till midnight....
All overlapping roles as a caretaker, a housekeeper and designer ...

After retreat,
I have a much clearer mind,
I remmember one little thing that happened last week.
When we were in a MTR station, iza told me,
"Everyone can support themselves on one leg."
"Why do you have such a thought?"
"Look!" she pointed to all those busy people walking to and fro,
"When we walk, we are shifting legs.
When we shift leg, we stand on one leg only." she explained.

Now I have space for her words.
Wonderful observation.


Yongfoo Elite - a graceful place in Shanghai.
It is a dining and leisure club offering gourmet cuisine, wine and live music.
Located in the diplomatic district in Shanghai, the villa has served at different times as aconsulate for the UK, Russia and Vietnam.


Lovely gold and cyan...

Kung Fu iza



Something happened to iza yesterday.
When I picked her up after school, she was all wet.
There were too many details...
From confrontations and tears...
we ended up hugging and laughing at each other :)
Thanks Joyce (iza's occupational therapist) and Lilian (iza's mentor) for talking to iza and me!


In Shanghai, we went to a park.
Though the machines are very old, maybe older than me,
Iza loved them so much.
We promise her that we will go back there very soon.



image from Wikipedia

I try,
to keep away from writing these days.
Too many things are happening.
Don’t know where to start and how to end.
My father soon starts his radiotherapy…
Ziggy’s father has just come out hospital…
His mother is still in the hospital, needs to be observed…

I write,
to reset myself.
to stop the explosion of the mess in my head.
To neatly layout,
and channel
the mess.

I wish,
I could have quiet days … without iza…
She drives me crazy!!!

She has poured her medicine onto my computer this morning.
Though not intended to…
She’s a master of CARELESSNESSSSS!
Before, I always think that it is normal for children.
After she broke her violin last Friday, I know I’m living with a "SLOVENRY".
She has started violin for less than 4 months, she has already dropped the violin onto the floor many many many times.
Maybe this is par with her peers?
However, she has [already] broken the bow at the very beginning, the chinrest fell apart, she crashed the front wood panel leaving a 2 inch crack (not scratch) and,
now the bridge is broken …
It doesn’t work anymore!!
There are no other children in the group has such a history!
She drops her cup of water or bowl of soup/rice every day.
I keep on cleaning and cleaning…

And, she is strange.

When she plays the piano, she always insists not to play certain pieces, or play as written, or play once more! We don’t even know whether she can manage to play properly because she refuses to. Sometimes she said certain notes in the music is not right, sometimes she said some pieces are meaningless… and, she said (only looks at, even without listening to), some are badly written that she dares not to play… So much strange thoughts and stubbornness!
Does she love playing piano?
I hope I can say NO.
So I can stop her piano lessons.
But the answer is definitely YES!
She can play it her way but not yours.
… I’m running out of patience!

I don’t know where we are heading to….